You Idiots! They're Plastic Apples

I have a large vine wreath on the back door. The whole wreath is covered with fake apples. The apples look somewhat real, in fact I noticed the plumber giving one a little squeeze the other day. The red apples look nice on my white back door. I would take a picture of it for you but unfortunately I can't as I am not going outside again until we have a hard freeze.

You see, this morning I felt great. I started by dusting the ceiling, walls and all the horizontal surfaces. While I washed the woodwork, 3 rag rugs swished in the washer. I was just getting ready to vacuum the floors when the washer finished. It was such a nice day outside I thought I would hang the rag rugs over the porch railings to dry. Saves energy and one can't beat that smell of laundry dried out-of-doors.

When I opened the door, I noticed about a dozen hornets ( maybe wasps, I'm not an expert) all on my wreath. I hung out two of the rugs and as I went back in I said (out loud for some reason)," You Idiots, They're Plastic Apples. Fly about 50 feet southeast and eat some real ones off the tree". I grabbed the last rug and not wanting to risk disturbing the hornets again, I went out the French Door in the kitchen.

I guess my comment made them angry as when I placed the rug over the railing I didn't even get to see it coming, or leaving for that matter. All I felt was multiple stinging over my left eye. By the time I walked back into the kitchen to get ice and then to the bathroom to look in the mirror my eyebrow had swollen to the size of a apricot.

I have never been stung by a hornet before. Bee yes, but not repeatedly by a wasp or hornet. During the past 12 hours since the sting, I have tried "lightly dragging a credit card across the area to remove the stinger", ice bag after ice bag, hydrocortisone and baking soda pastes, two Benadryls and 4 Advils. And, it is still not much better. Well, the swelling is down a little ( it was up to plum size) and before if I walked around it hurt more. Now I can walk. At least I didn't have any signs of anaphylactic shock. You might wonder why I am still up, well it is because my eye lid is so swollen it won't shut.

So, the floors never did get vacuumed or washed. Rachel wants to go to Little Farmer tomorrow for apples. Slim chance I think.